Smooth Sailing

By: Jonathan Seidel

Roller coasters and rafting: bumpy and pictures-hyperreal coordination 

A roller coaster is a high speed mechanical ride. It is the enjoyment spinning around in loops and drops. The entire ride is exposed and coordinated. Put your hands up and scream as the cart speeds up and loops around. Raft rides are not of the same amusement. Slowly wandering through the forest. Only at the end was the roller coaster realized.

Raft rides are single carts moving at their own speed. One conductor per raft. Sit back and relax. Enjoy the ride. Yet there is no time to be passive. The slow glide is only the beginning. It is only preparing the riders for the unexpected. The conductor expertly guides the raft. Pushing off rocks on each side of riverbank. Oscillating side to side. The ride is relaxing but the water begins to feel heavy. The raft swaying jumps a little. It becomes bumpy. The passengers grab on gradually for dear life. The once chill flow has risen to a different wavelength. The passenger is alert. He has stopped conversing with his friend. He looks straight ahead holding the bamboo tightly for his own sake.

The ride is bumpy. There is no drop yet but it’s gotten real. The passenger startled is aware and ready. He is trying maintain his balance. Afraid the conductor may slip up. It resembles more a ride at a state fair rather than an amusement park. Safety wise he trusts the conductor but he must take initiative. There is no helmet nor life jacket. He is fully exposed. He holds on lest he fall off. The conductor ensures his safety but skepticism has him rethinking. Just a grip on the bamboo. He is only human. He may slip up no matter how professional he is. The water is bumpy but still calm. There is to fear but rest assured this is only the first half. It is only preparing for the bigger twists and turns. The awkward menacing of a tightly cleaned uneven ride is ambitious yet left remaining stiff.  

Sailing along the river blue happens upon rest stops. For anyone who needs a break from the ride. Offering beverages and a seat to relax after the bumpiness became nauseating. Clenching tightly has overburdened. Whatever the reason there is time for comfort, only for the ride to restart. Though rejecting the rest stop is preferable as well. Continuing along the river, the bumpiness ceases as the rocks spread out. Then an observer waves and the passenger waves back. The observer quickly pulls out her camera and the passenger eagerly accepts. How sweet of an observer. She is interested in the rafting. Then moments later the raft pulls under an aching bridge with more observers waving flags and flashing their cameras. The passenger is overjoyed. He is entertained by the ride and observers. They both think it is cool. 

After the bridge, the slow steady ride quickly increases in speed. The conductor swiftly moves back in forth like skiing with poles down the mountain. Moving ever faster over the rocks. What seemed like a nice somewhat relaxing trip has transitioned to a high speed ride. Bouncing off rockets the passenger grips tighter. Screaming scared he may fall off. The water rushing and the raft flying. A few minutes of turmoil cools into a calm pace only to revert to the small drop off and twist around the corner. This outing has exceeded the passengers expectations. The shift is quick and sharp. No longer birds chirping and smiling at the beautiful green nature around him. Surrounded by natives working the land. Nothing to worry about. Yet instantly, the raft is a full blown roller coaster. Up and down and round and round. 

A treacherous episode of breathtaking gasps. Unexpected but enjoyable. Confused at the situation. This is a nice raft ride. What happened? What changed? When did the raft become a roller coaster? He doesn’t have anytime to fully analyze these inquiries. The peace was momentary. Just enough time to catch his breath before taking a nosedive into the rocky terrain. The current carrying the raft with immense speed. Such force shoving the raft ahead. He desires to put his hands in the air and cheer. Afraid if he does so he’ll fall off. In a moment of sheer risk he puts them up for a second before quickly yanking them to the bamboo to remain aboard. His heart jumps and he is swooned by the swinging raft. An accidental tailspin heaves a heavy sigh of relief as he regains control. Phew he mutters a curse under his breath and a silent prayer of thanks. The conductor smiles. All according to plan. 

Bliss rolls in. The final loop passed. The raft slowly makes its way to the final stop. Reaching the end with a nice steady beat. The conductor pulls up to the side aiding the passenger off. The passenger thanks the conductor and makes his way to the to the street. Looking for his friends and a bathroom. En route he is confronted by the observer. She shows him the picture. How sweet he thinks. She hands him the picture and says five bucks. He continues on to the restroom he runs into another observer hurrying to pee to avoid him. On his way back he picks up a bottle of water and behold another observer is the cashier. He realizes the ruse. He’s been duped. It is all interconnected. Not locals or natives. It is only a bamboo raft ride. Sailing through nature. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet it is not the case. 

The bamboo raft ride is the interconnected enterprise. The houses he saw on the side were for the workers. This is an amusement park. A theatrical assessment. The raft, the rest stop, observers and convenient store. All are pieces of the same brand. The capitalist brand. Enticing participation for more money. While a little dissimilar from average roller coasters. Combining the slow Hershey ride with the unsecured county fair is the bamboo ride. The Hershey ride is chill but unexpected. Able to receive treats but has infrequent out of nowhere twists. Adding the elements of the unsettling anti-safety and explosiveness gives the bamboo raft a nice synthesis. Yet it doesn’t seem like a roller coaster nor expected. It is shocking for the rather stumbling twists and devious observers. Yet that is the ruse. 

This isn’t a ride but a roller coaster. This is blindfold roller coaster. A space mountain where one can’t see where the road is headed. Unsuspecting but yet freedom and fun. The entire system is a web of linked characters. Instead of a mechanical system driving the cart and taking the picture, a person does it. It is unsuspecting because it is foreign. Roller coasters are machines not people. A person who becomes the mechanical energy ought to also equate other variables in the same vein but it is not obvious. Only afterward is the realisation an epiphany. Of course that was their role and the goal. It is not devious nor devilish. It is the rules of their game. It is the humanized instead of computerized roller coaster. The right mentality would have easily solved it and expected the unsuspected. 

A difference between deception and ignorance. Comprehension is simple for the normative but not when visiting a foreign nation. The passenger is not aware of the style of rafts nor of this place. The expectation is shattered when bumpy becomes sliding. When pictures become portraits. It is illogical to the foreign passenger but evident to the native. Understanding the frame is undemanding the variables. If observers are locals they are not perceived as workers. The mechanical is devolved into human exertion. Yet this is precisely the agony of the advanced. The inability to see the interconnected web due to definition.