Loneliness is not aways measured in spatial isolation. Some folks do not have families or friends to rely on. Elderly or homeless with no family. At times, there is a reason for this whether those family members have passed on or have little connection with. Everyone belongs somewhere biologically and ontologically, it is a matter if pragmatically they are sought after. An orphan doesn’t have any living relatives but he is connected to his dead parents and a deserted father on his deathbed has children even if he has zero contact. The physical and metaphysical link are intact eternally but belonging has a lot more to do with mentality than record.
Belonging is relative to reciprocity. Technically connected but rejected. A bastard son is a biological son even if rejected. The opposite is true of GOT. John Snow is Ned Stark’s bastard child treated as a biological son. His bastardisation is not concealed putting him in danger but Ned does not let the social apparatus derail his love for his son. The greater irony is revealed that he is not even Ned’s son. Not only did Ned lie to everyone, he took the burden to raise a child that was not his. He was a foster father that treated John as his own real son. John knew he was different and yet he belonged to house Stark. He belonged to a group despite having no blood relation. It is not about blood but care.
The same can be said of foster parents. They are not biological parents. They did not birth their children and yet these children are theirs. Authority and responsibility do not stem from blood but reciprocal care. The parent shows the child love and vice versa. There are notable adoptions in cinema that describe the desire to be with the birth mother despite all the good provided by the foster parents. In the end it is all rainbows and unicorns but it interesting the desire for the parents that gave you up against those who have given you everything. It is an atypical format but a genuine one. Belonging is a choice. To some extent the desire for the birth parents is an attempt to realise this choice. The adoption is done in haste desperately. The child is alone and needs help. The search is clarity and choice. Deciding to return to foster parents. Choosing them as they chose you.
Imagined families are constructed but constructive. The five great roman emperors were all adopted. The deadly sins were voided in the heir disconnected carnally from the emperor. There was much to be earned and nothing to be gifted. Companies that become families share virtues of a unified goal. The relation between one another is built on time spent together. Shared space and efforts. Connection with a common destiny discovers the depth of the bond. Yet shared goals do not necessarily retain relations beyond the mission. To truly care is to do unconditionally. The familial element is the reciprocal care not the destined profit. Still the belonging sensation is empowering in the metaphysical nature of the common narrative unifying the group. There is a reciprocal relationship for the time being. Until the mission is completed the connection is tight and generous to one another.
The same can be said of school friends or flatmates. So long as the relation is relative to the common narrative reciprocity is maintained. Hanging out with school friends may not measure after school hours or enjoying time with flatmates is strictly in the flat. This dichotomy is not linear. Moving on to a new school or new flat changes the dynamic. The lack of spatial proximity and renewed responsibilities hinders the intentioned hangouts. To an extent it demeans the relationship. Since it was built on shallow measured closeness. Yet at the same time the paradigm shift does acknowledge that it’s not the illusionary relationship but a strictly condensed version of it. Reciprocity only bellows in the encounter between the two school friends and flatmates. If they were to run into one another they may talk smoothly for hours. It is the offline catcalling that is marred by business elsewhere (or you are a bad texter then it may be just you and me).
Belonging is relative. It will happen periodically. Even a religious individual is privy to a consistent one but many chapel goers speak solely after services. It is a weekend spark. Life is busy. Belonging is knowing that there is some reciprocity somewhere. Yet for the most part one is alone. Most of life is dealing with personal issues. Being is the most central facet of the human essence. It is not where you come from but who you are. A single organism that differentiates from all others. Being is an independent isolated outlaw with his own principled metric to live. Belonging provides the genetic makeup and discolouring but it is the self that pursues their most dignified model. Autonomy is limited by the social apparatus but it is the self that can ascertain their most credible possibilities. Freedom is limited but relative to anyone else being can be progressed to the individual’s edge of finitude. It is matter of living truest to yourself.
Existence is an authentic articulation self identity. The foundation of the self is mirrored in one’s reflection. Not looking outside to deduce the accurate portrayal but one of meditated fantasy. A recognition of the depth personality. That which belongs extends beyond the bounds of the normative identity. Essence is the clothes but existence is the birthday suit. Naked to the core impervious to shame nor pride. Being is the isolated paradise serene in nothingness. The realm of consciousness is a myriad of edenic tranquillity without responsibility. There is no interest in the external matrix. It is a dreamworld of peacefulness. A confidence exudes in the development of esteemed art. A layer depth that cannot be corralled in the confines of social order.
Wound up in the constructed matrix follows the self into a larger context. He is amongst others. He does belong even if it is a one-sided emotional inclination. Existence is always covered with the apparel for the cold outdoors. Life is gloomy and dark. Shivering is compensated with warm families lighting up the soul. The scary outside is reduced with others alongside for the ride. Faith itself is a deep notion that the divine is concerned. On the deepest level, he cares. Belonging somewhere is a homing beacon that complicates existence. Being is the primordial nature. The social nature prevails seducing the subject into his connections. He grows up with them and stays with them. He only knows a life with them. Homesickness is a symptom of collectivist immaturity. Unable to successfully isolate from his home. His existence is solely related to his essence.
Modernity offers a unique paradigm. University seeks to further individuality. No more are the days that one moved from one house to the next. From life with his parents to life with his wife. There is more room for personal growth. Surrounded by family for early years relying on them for survival. Attending schools in the community. Surrounded by new friends to concern with. University is an individualistic trek but others find a similar scenario and befriend. There isn’t really a moment of proper self-indulgence. Being is considerably diluted behind the winter coat protecting his insides. Being does not escape in fear of letting it out. He is outside and must accord with the rules for his safety. There is little time to reflect so involved with the rest of world. Social media only heightens this prospect. Furthered individuality is stricken by collectivist undertones. Essence rings true from the fated to the chosen. From family to friends. There is little room to simplify.
Being becomes clear when there is no one else. When loneliness creeps in. When trauma isolates to the nethers of the rural plains. When essence is driven open. His coat is unbuttoned and hanging over his shoulder. His armour pierced and now bleeding out. His essence cannot save him. Yet his existence can. Self empowerment through the hurdles of distress. Compelled to the depths of oblivion enlightens the self. Realising the true self has been waiting patiently for a call. Checking in with himself for the first time in forever he gets a reality check. Shocked at what he has become and searching for a new purpose. Excited and yet shamed that he cannot complete this task. He looks down and sees that he cannot reach this milestone. His change is a long road ahead of him. If only he had looked at himself earlier.
The heroics of introspection are ironic to the isolated. It is through time and boredom that looking inside becomes a possibility. His only friend is himself. Only he can save himself. No amount of essence can protect him. All their attempts are vain. Belonging is cute but it is a distraction from his real struggle. It is at the core of his being that he invigorates strength. Able to overcome in his wilful expression. His existence manifests as a unique specimen. He is a loner with a specified cause. Belonging while scientifically still a matter of fact, it is the cruel obtuse reality that hides their truth. Concealing the connections for an internal look. His existence shines in his prideful moment of excellence.
No comments:
Post a Comment